Revamp

I've already decided to start using this blog, but I want to make some changes to it first. So most of my old posts will be hidden because of their more personal nature and the fact that they don't fit with the overall feel I want for the blog. They won't be completely deleted but they won't be accessible by anyone other than me. I'm also going to be changing the ascetics of the site but I have no idea what I want it to look like yet. I guess we will see when I get around to fiddling with it. I have a few posts planned so hopefully this will be fun and I'll get them up soon.

~ Rayne

I'm going to revive this thing.

This is now going to be my random and somewhat contemplative blog which I post on when I have something that I want to share with the world instead of writing in my journal blog. Hope you all enjoy. More will be coming soon.

~Rayne

The Room

Shrouded in Darkness lit by the dark...

A comfort... a lure..
Hope...
A way to remain in the dark while in the light...
A way to hide in plain sight...

That subtle glow...




This is my world



Not light tainted by darkness, but Darkness blinded by light...


Except...







...that light...


...Black light.




~Rain

Itch

It's there
We can feel it
The uncontrollable urge that won't go a way
The panic that's unexplainable
It builds and builds never letting up
Needing a way out but one's hard to find
We can't get it out
But it has to go
Driving us crazy
The need to create
Create what?
Painting?
Drawing?
Poem?
Can't say
Drowning in undirected anxiety

~Rain

I wrote this one a while ago, can't remember when

I Can See It Clearly

I can see it
My life there
I want it so bad
more than anything else
I can see myself there
I fit in so easily, so comfortably
but most importantly
I'm so happy
I will get there
I will be happy
next year
cause I can't stand another year here
I have to get there
I want to get there
I will get there
And finally be with you

~Your Tiny Little Rain

One Of My Better Days Without You...

8/5/08

I drempt of you this morning
It made my day
I was able to enjoy myself
but I missed you
All day I wanted to bee in your arms

I wanted to twine my arms around you
to never let go
I wanted to kiss you
And tell you how much I love you
But you weren't here

So I did my best and enjoyed myself
cause I know you'd want me to
And though half of me was in waking dreams of your arms
I had fun and then tonight
It rained

~Rain

"Ordinary Girl"

I never really had an ordinary childhood.
I spent a lot of time playing by myself.
I was named to be a free spirit, raised to be independent,
I didn't really fit in with most of the kids at school,
And the few I did call my friends,
I didn't go to their house much.
I spent a lot of time at home,
But I don't have the kind of relationship you'd think I'd have with my parents,
I don't tell them everything,
I never have.
They love me I'm sure,
But my mother never was the sentimental type,
And my dad, we get along alright, but only when we don't wind up on opposite sides of things.
My mother named me well.
I am a free spirit,
One that won't yield to her, she didn't count on that.
Some times I've wished
I could be like all the other girls,
Be just like all the other girls,
Living in an ordinary world,
Just to fit in in an ordinary world,
Just to fit in like an ordinary girl
I've never been an "Ordinary Girl"
And I've been through some messed up shit,
But it's made me stronger.
It's made me wiser.
I see the world in a light few others do,
But I've thought a lot about it and...
...I'd never want to be an "Ordinary Girl"
Who sees the world through rose tinted glasses.
I'd rather see what's really there,
Despite all the pain it is to see the truth,
And all the pain it's caused,
I would give up that knowledge.

~Rain